Money is emotional, but which emotion?
As parents, we spend a lot of time thinking about how to raise emotionally healthy kids—but how often do we think about how we’re shaping their emotions around money?
I’m sure most parents are familiar with Pixar’s two Inside Out movies by now. (If you are not, I highly recommend them for your next movie night!) There are some amazing lessons to be learned from these films:
Emotions are not “good” or “bad,” but rather a necessary part of life and the building blocks of what make you the unique person you are.
Emotions are complicated, but it’s that complication that leads to growth and resilience.
We can’t expect our kids to be happy all of the time. Helping kids get through complicated emotions with self-awareness and self-compassion is more important than trying to keep them happy all of the time.
I was recently thinking about these movies and how even as adults, our emotions can be complicated, messy, and sometimes feeling completely out of our control–just like money! Money and emotions are inextricably linked.
When you think about money, what emotion(s) come to mind? In the spirit of Inside Out and Inside Out 2, does money make you feel any of the following?
Joy
Sadness
Anger
Fear
Disgust
Embarrassment
Envy
Anxiety
Ennui
Take a few minutes and think about your primary money emotion (whether it’s on that list or not!). For me, I find that money carries a very balanced mix of joy and anxiety. I love to talk about it and learn about it, but I also have extreme anxiety driven by a complicated money story.
Once you have identified your top 1-2 money emotions, go back to the list and identify 1-2 emotions that you want your kids to identify with money. Are they the same as yours? Are they different?
Bridging the gap between our own money emotions and those we hope for our kids is a key part of the early money conversations we have with them. Many of us carry complicated money stories from our past—and that's okay. What matters now is how we use that awareness to help our kids build healthier relationships with money. You don’t have to be perfect with money to teach your kids about it. Just being willing to talk about your emotions—and listen to theirs—is a powerful first step.